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Channel: Loveawake.com blog

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The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses. Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Picking up girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play […]

The post 4 Lame Excuses That Keep You From Getting Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5111) "

The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses.

Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Picking up girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play all sorts of crazy tricks to spare you the pain of rejection and the anxiety of approaching a complete stranger. But these excuses are deadly for your game. They swirl around in your head, crippling you from the inside out. Even if a guy continues to approach girls through these excuses, he will transmit an insecure vibe that will severely limit his success.

“The type of girls I like don’t like guys that are of my race”

Race-based excuses are among the most common I hear. I find that they’re most prevalent in guys whose cultures emphasize “modesty” or are racially homogenous (e.g., East Asian cultures, India), but it’s not limited to any one group. The truth is: if you live in large city and pay even a little attention, you will see men of your race with girls from other races. Whether you’re an Indian or Asian guy that wants to go out with white girls, or a white guy that wants to go out with Asian girls, don’t let racial insecurity blind you of your opportunities. Girls want cool, interesting guys. Period. Find an example of a famous, successful man in your race and emulate his style and swagger.

“I’m too short”

There’s no doubt that being tall is an advantage. Every inch over “average” will work in your favor with a lot of girls. That said, I see below-average guys with cute girls all the time. And, of course, I meet plenty of goofy tall guys with no girls or with ugly fatties on their arm. If you’re stocky or short, hit the gym. If you’re below-average height, wearing form-fitting clothing that “adds length” to your stature will do miracles for your appearance, as will maintaining an ideal, slender build.

“I want a nice girlfriend or wife, not to be a pick-up artist”

This is probably the most common—and ridiculous—of the bunch. What guys who believe this don’t realize is that in order to get a quality girlfriend, they need to have the skills to capture her. If you think she’s girlfriend material that likely means that, at any given moment, several guys are thinking the same thing. Plus, a nice, attractive girl gets hit on by several random guys a day.

If you haven’t developed your game skills, there’s no way you’re going to be able to snare your dream girl—even if you do find her. That’s like owning a store and saying you just want one customer to come in and buy all your merchandise so you can retire. The retail business doesn’t work like that and neither does game. The interesting thing is that what you think you want is liable to change once you get to know (and bang) other girls. In other words: you don’t really know what you want.

“When I have money/success I’ll have to beat the girls back with a stick.”

If you believe this, I can guarantee you one thing: you’re in for a major disappointment in a few years. Money doesn’t hurt your chances with girls, but it’s one of the most overrated things in the world of pickup. There’s a reason that high-end escort services are ridiculously profitable: all the lonely rich guys that are working 80 hours weeks to support their lavish lifestyle. For every rich guy with a hot girl, there are 10 dirt-poor artists or street guitarists with a harem of hot girls. Girls like social proof, and money alone doesn’t prove much. Making your money as an international pop star, for example, is way different than making it as a buttoned-down, overworked investment banker. Money by itself won’t make girls—apart from the occasional gold-digger—attracted to you. Don’t waste your best years working your ass off and celibate. Pick up girls while you’re making your bones so that you can get even better ones later, by smartly leveraging your loot.

If any of these excuses sound familiar, you should immediately start working on ridding yourself of this game-killing baggage.

The post 4 Lame Excuses That Keep You From Getting Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses. Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Picking up girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play […]

The post 4 Lame Excuses That Keep You From Getting Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5111) "

The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses.

Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Picking up girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play all sorts of crazy tricks to spare you the pain of rejection and the anxiety of approaching a complete stranger. But these excuses are deadly for your game. They swirl around in your head, crippling you from the inside out. Even if a guy continues to approach girls through these excuses, he will transmit an insecure vibe that will severely limit his success.

“The type of girls I like don’t like guys that are of my race”

Race-based excuses are among the most common I hear. I find that they’re most prevalent in guys whose cultures emphasize “modesty” or are racially homogenous (e.g., East Asian cultures, India), but it’s not limited to any one group. The truth is: if you live in large city and pay even a little attention, you will see men of your race with girls from other races. Whether you’re an Indian or Asian guy that wants to go out with white girls, or a white guy that wants to go out with Asian girls, don’t let racial insecurity blind you of your opportunities. Girls want cool, interesting guys. Period. Find an example of a famous, successful man in your race and emulate his style and swagger.

“I’m too short”

There’s no doubt that being tall is an advantage. Every inch over “average” will work in your favor with a lot of girls. That said, I see below-average guys with cute girls all the time. And, of course, I meet plenty of goofy tall guys with no girls or with ugly fatties on their arm. If you’re stocky or short, hit the gym. If you’re below-average height, wearing form-fitting clothing that “adds length” to your stature will do miracles for your appearance, as will maintaining an ideal, slender build.

“I want a nice girlfriend or wife, not to be a pick-up artist”

This is probably the most common—and ridiculous—of the bunch. What guys who believe this don’t realize is that in order to get a quality girlfriend, they need to have the skills to capture her. If you think she’s girlfriend material that likely means that, at any given moment, several guys are thinking the same thing. Plus, a nice, attractive girl gets hit on by several random guys a day.

If you haven’t developed your game skills, there’s no way you’re going to be able to snare your dream girl—even if you do find her. That’s like owning a store and saying you just want one customer to come in and buy all your merchandise so you can retire. The retail business doesn’t work like that and neither does game. The interesting thing is that what you think you want is liable to change once you get to know (and bang) other girls. In other words: you don’t really know what you want.

“When I have money/success I’ll have to beat the girls back with a stick.”

If you believe this, I can guarantee you one thing: you’re in for a major disappointment in a few years. Money doesn’t hurt your chances with girls, but it’s one of the most overrated things in the world of pickup. There’s a reason that high-end escort services are ridiculously profitable: all the lonely rich guys that are working 80 hours weeks to support their lavish lifestyle. For every rich guy with a hot girl, there are 10 dirt-poor artists or street guitarists with a harem of hot girls. Girls like social proof, and money alone doesn’t prove much. Making your money as an international pop star, for example, is way different than making it as a buttoned-down, overworked investment banker. Money by itself won’t make girls—apart from the occasional gold-digger—attracted to you. Don’t waste your best years working your ass off and celibate. Pick up girls while you’re making your bones so that you can get even better ones later, by smartly leveraging your loot.

If any of these excuses sound familiar, you should immediately start working on ridding yourself of this game-killing baggage.

The post 4 Lame Excuses That Keep You From Getting Girls appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634570357) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(42) "3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive" ["link"]=> string(81) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/3-tips-to-make-conversation-more-seductive/" ["comments"]=> string(89) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/3-tips-to-make-conversation-more-seductive/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:45:20 +0000" ["category"]=> string(190) "Relationship Advicehow to seduce a girl when you're alonehow to seduce someone with one sentencehow to steer a conversation sexuallyseductive words and phraseswords to seduce a woman by text" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8264" ["description"]=> string(603) "

“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” – Marya Mannes If you’ve ever wanted to be the guy who could turn up the seduction knob in your nightly conversations, then you’re going to have to do exactly what you’re about to read. Next time you’re out at […]

The post 3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4521) "

“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” – Marya Mannes

If you’ve ever wanted to be the guy who could turn up the seduction knob in your nightly conversations, then you’re going to have to do exactly what you’re about to read. Next time you’re out at nightclub, take a look at the shoes the girl nearest to you is wearing. Now take a look at yours. They’re different right?

Now, take a moment, and imagine yourself in them.

The key to seductive conversation is the ability to see yourself from someone else’s perspective. How do you imagine your conversations sound from her point of view? Do you sound like the charmer you thought you were? Or are you just another guy saying the same guy things in the same guy ways? The following three lessons will help you add some seductive flavor to your bland everyday conversation:

Listen and Think Before You Talk

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

Pay Attention! It may be shocking to most men, but women have things to say too! What she says can tell you a lot about who she is, if you know how to listen. There is a recipe for seduction hidden in everything a person says and does. Listen to her stories; a good seducer can learn volumes about a person by simply paying attention to what someone says.

• Listen to the words they use, the topics they bring up, and the topics they respond too. Then ask yourself, “Why is this person saying what they are saying? What does our conversation tell me about this person?”
• When you do respond, do not say the first thing that comes to your mind. Take a moment to think about what you’re going to say then respond.
• Don’t voice your opinion without thinking about it first. Ask yourself, “Will my opinion help or hurt this conversation. What emotional states could my opinion trigger?”

Speak with Emotion

“Feelings! I don’t go by feelings! That would get you killed in war!” – Henry Rollins

The ability to alter emotional states is a key component in seduction. By choosing the right words and speaking in with the right attitude, you can mold emotional states like clay. Be passionate about what you say. When you respond to people’s stories, do it with real curiosity.

• Ask yourself, “What is this person’s emotional state? What emotional state do I want them in? What can I say to change it?”
• Pay attention to the patterns in their emotional states. Find a way to change the pattern and you will stand out in her mind.

Strategically Flatter Her

“The aim of flattery is to soothe and encourage us by assuring us of the truth of an opinion we have already formed about ourselves.” – Dame Edith Sitwell

Everyone needs to be validated in one way or another. The key to real flattery is the ability to deduce what part of a person needs to be validated. Telling a beautiful girl that she “has amazing eyes” won’t get you anywhere, because she’s already been complimented on them thousands of times. You’re just the next guy. Instead, find something that she is insecure about in her life, compliment her on this and she’ll never forget you.

• Use your compliments to ease any insecurities and doubts they have about themselves.
• Stay away from complimenting anything that she is known for or is complimented on regularly.
• In most cases the compliments should not be sexual.

The post 3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(86) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/3-tips-to-make-conversation-more-seductive/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(603) "

“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” – Marya Mannes If you’ve ever wanted to be the guy who could turn up the seduction knob in your nightly conversations, then you’re going to have to do exactly what you’re about to read. Next time you’re out at […]

The post 3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4521) "

“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” – Marya Mannes

If you’ve ever wanted to be the guy who could turn up the seduction knob in your nightly conversations, then you’re going to have to do exactly what you’re about to read. Next time you’re out at nightclub, take a look at the shoes the girl nearest to you is wearing. Now take a look at yours. They’re different right?

Now, take a moment, and imagine yourself in them.

The key to seductive conversation is the ability to see yourself from someone else’s perspective. How do you imagine your conversations sound from her point of view? Do you sound like the charmer you thought you were? Or are you just another guy saying the same guy things in the same guy ways? The following three lessons will help you add some seductive flavor to your bland everyday conversation:

Listen and Think Before You Talk

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

Pay Attention! It may be shocking to most men, but women have things to say too! What she says can tell you a lot about who she is, if you know how to listen. There is a recipe for seduction hidden in everything a person says and does. Listen to her stories; a good seducer can learn volumes about a person by simply paying attention to what someone says.

• Listen to the words they use, the topics they bring up, and the topics they respond too. Then ask yourself, “Why is this person saying what they are saying? What does our conversation tell me about this person?”
• When you do respond, do not say the first thing that comes to your mind. Take a moment to think about what you’re going to say then respond.
• Don’t voice your opinion without thinking about it first. Ask yourself, “Will my opinion help or hurt this conversation. What emotional states could my opinion trigger?”

Speak with Emotion

“Feelings! I don’t go by feelings! That would get you killed in war!” – Henry Rollins

The ability to alter emotional states is a key component in seduction. By choosing the right words and speaking in with the right attitude, you can mold emotional states like clay. Be passionate about what you say. When you respond to people’s stories, do it with real curiosity.

• Ask yourself, “What is this person’s emotional state? What emotional state do I want them in? What can I say to change it?”
• Pay attention to the patterns in their emotional states. Find a way to change the pattern and you will stand out in her mind.

Strategically Flatter Her

“The aim of flattery is to soothe and encourage us by assuring us of the truth of an opinion we have already formed about ourselves.” – Dame Edith Sitwell

Everyone needs to be validated in one way or another. The key to real flattery is the ability to deduce what part of a person needs to be validated. Telling a beautiful girl that she “has amazing eyes” won’t get you anywhere, because she’s already been complimented on them thousands of times. You’re just the next guy. Instead, find something that she is insecure about in her life, compliment her on this and she’ll never forget you.

• Use your compliments to ease any insecurities and doubts they have about themselves.
• Stay away from complimenting anything that she is known for or is complimented on regularly.
• In most cases the compliments should not be sexual.

The post 3 Tips to Make Conversation More Seductive appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634568320) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(79) "Dating on a US Navy Ship: Main Tips for Dating or How To Beat Loneliness at Sea" ["link"]=> string(117) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/dating-on-a-us-navy-ship-main-tips-for-dating-or-how-to-beat-loneliness-at-sea/" ["comments"]=> string(125) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/dating-on-a-us-navy-ship-main-tips-for-dating-or-how-to-beat-loneliness-at-sea/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:08:06 +0000" ["category"]=> string(13) "Dating Advice" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8261" ["description"]=> string(642) "

Floating on the big steel ship in the middle of the sea may seem like a relaxing activity for some. But when being on such a ship is your job and you’re in the US navy, that’s not a vacation. Many sailors worldwide have to deal with loneliness at sea. Single US navy marines suffer […]

The post Dating on a US Navy Ship: Main Tips for Dating or How To Beat Loneliness at Sea appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4990) "

Floating on the big steel ship in the middle of the sea may seem like a relaxing activity for some. But when being on such a ship is your job and you’re in the US navy, that’s not a vacation. Many sailors worldwide have to deal with loneliness at sea. Single US navy marines suffer even more because they don’t have a partner at home to chat with. That’s why they find different ways to date on the navy ship.

Pass Notes Like You’re Teenagers

As we all did in high school, the most innocent way of flirting on the navy ship is passing notes. Dating among singles in the same division isn’t advisable, But sometimes they can’t resist, so they sneak around exchanging messages when they get a chance. Decent way to bring some excitement to the ship. Still, most marines don’t want to hide their relationships, so they choose other dating methods while on duty.

Never Date in Your Division

Dating at work isn’t very professional in most situations. On a US navy ship, that’s more true than everywhere else. They have to stay focused, and flirting doesn’t help with that. Since their colleagues are the only people they see, marines sometimes flirt with each other but usually don’t start anything serious.

Instead of risking with other soldiers, single marines join the marine dating site to beat loneliness and meet potential partners while at sea. They join the specialized site because every member is either wearing a uniform or can’t resist people in uniforms. Finding matches becomes much easier when everybody seeks the same thing. And marines on duty can sleep peacefully because they aren’t violating any rules.

Online Dating Opens a Lot of Opportunities (For Long-term Relationships)

People who spend a lot of time away from home because of work sometimes have problems starting relationships. Some marines don’t even try to form long-term relationships while in the navy. Bad experiences from the past or stories they heard from other soldiers make them think it’s impossible to have anything real while floating in at sea.

However, online dating helps a ton by providing numerous opportunities for those mature enough to be 100% honest in the relationship. Marines seeking love and serious dating can join specialized sites and create meaningful connections miles away from the nearest land. Nights on the ship are much shorter when they have someone to chat with. Modern dating sites offer to exchange photos, videos, and live chat, making long-distance dating feel real.

5 Tips on How to Beat Loneliness At Sea

Loneliness at sea is a serious issue, but thanks to technology, sailors and marines nowadays have different methods for beating it. Single marines deal with loneliness differently than those in relationships. Those in the relationship always have someone to call. We’ll list 5 tips on dealing with loneliness for single guys and girls.

  1. Online dating is a blessing – regardless if they’re looking for casual fun or love, marines can get a lot from online dating. Connecting with singles worldwide turns steel prison into a vessel of excitement. The industry keeps growing, so there is always someone online and ready to make things easier for our soldiers.
  2. Video calls – seeing friends and family while on duty means a lot to men and women in the navy. Video calls make that possible, which makes them one of the best ways to deal with loneliness.
  3. Board games – loneliness is weak against technology, but old-school methods still work. Playing board games with fellow marines makes the time fly.
  4. Remembering your mission – becoming a member of the US navy isn’t easy. Most people can’t dream about it. Those who do are incredibly mentally strong. When loneliness starts squeezing, they have to remember what they went through and why they joined the army.
  5. Video games – board games are fun, but online video games are something else. Marines can play them with people worldwide, which makes them feel they’re at home and erases loneliness out of their lives.

The post Dating on a US Navy Ship: Main Tips for Dating or How To Beat Loneliness at Sea appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(122) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/dating-on-a-us-navy-ship-main-tips-for-dating-or-how-to-beat-loneliness-at-sea/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(642) "

Floating on the big steel ship in the middle of the sea may seem like a relaxing activity for some. But when being on such a ship is your job and you’re in the US navy, that’s not a vacation. Many sailors worldwide have to deal with loneliness at sea. Single US navy marines suffer […]

The post Dating on a US Navy Ship: Main Tips for Dating or How To Beat Loneliness at Sea appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4990) "

Floating on the big steel ship in the middle of the sea may seem like a relaxing activity for some. But when being on such a ship is your job and you’re in the US navy, that’s not a vacation. Many sailors worldwide have to deal with loneliness at sea. Single US navy marines suffer even more because they don’t have a partner at home to chat with. That’s why they find different ways to date on the navy ship.

Pass Notes Like You’re Teenagers

As we all did in high school, the most innocent way of flirting on the navy ship is passing notes. Dating among singles in the same division isn’t advisable, But sometimes they can’t resist, so they sneak around exchanging messages when they get a chance. Decent way to bring some excitement to the ship. Still, most marines don’t want to hide their relationships, so they choose other dating methods while on duty.

Never Date in Your Division

Dating at work isn’t very professional in most situations. On a US navy ship, that’s more true than everywhere else. They have to stay focused, and flirting doesn’t help with that. Since their colleagues are the only people they see, marines sometimes flirt with each other but usually don’t start anything serious.

Instead of risking with other soldiers, single marines join the marine dating site to beat loneliness and meet potential partners while at sea. They join the specialized site because every member is either wearing a uniform or can’t resist people in uniforms. Finding matches becomes much easier when everybody seeks the same thing. And marines on duty can sleep peacefully because they aren’t violating any rules.

Online Dating Opens a Lot of Opportunities (For Long-term Relationships)

People who spend a lot of time away from home because of work sometimes have problems starting relationships. Some marines don’t even try to form long-term relationships while in the navy. Bad experiences from the past or stories they heard from other soldiers make them think it’s impossible to have anything real while floating in at sea.

However, online dating helps a ton by providing numerous opportunities for those mature enough to be 100% honest in the relationship. Marines seeking love and serious dating can join specialized sites and create meaningful connections miles away from the nearest land. Nights on the ship are much shorter when they have someone to chat with. Modern dating sites offer to exchange photos, videos, and live chat, making long-distance dating feel real.

5 Tips on How to Beat Loneliness At Sea

Loneliness at sea is a serious issue, but thanks to technology, sailors and marines nowadays have different methods for beating it. Single marines deal with loneliness differently than those in relationships. Those in the relationship always have someone to call. We’ll list 5 tips on dealing with loneliness for single guys and girls.

  1. Online dating is a blessing – regardless if they’re looking for casual fun or love, marines can get a lot from online dating. Connecting with singles worldwide turns steel prison into a vessel of excitement. The industry keeps growing, so there is always someone online and ready to make things easier for our soldiers.
  2. Video calls – seeing friends and family while on duty means a lot to men and women in the navy. Video calls make that possible, which makes them one of the best ways to deal with loneliness.
  3. Board games – loneliness is weak against technology, but old-school methods still work. Playing board games with fellow marines makes the time fly.
  4. Remembering your mission – becoming a member of the US navy isn’t easy. Most people can’t dream about it. Those who do are incredibly mentally strong. When loneliness starts squeezing, they have to remember what they went through and why they joined the army.
  5. Video games – board games are fun, but online video games are something else. Marines can play them with people worldwide, which makes them feel they’re at home and erases loneliness out of their lives.

The post Dating on a US Navy Ship: Main Tips for Dating or How To Beat Loneliness at Sea appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634566086) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(37) "Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/relationships-that-are-doomed-to-fail/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/relationships-that-are-doomed-to-fail/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 18 Oct 2021 13:02:39 +0000" ["category"]=> string(362) "Relationship Adviceabusive relationship timelineabusive relationshipsbody language of unhappy married couplesearly signs of abusive mansigns of an abusive man in a relationshipsigns you are in a verbally abusive relationshiptop unhappy marriage signsunhappy marriagewarning signs of emotional abusewhat does it mean to take advantage of someone in a relationship" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8255" ["description"]=> string(576) "

Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? What? Have “I” ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? Let’s see, there was that one time when I was 15, another time when I was 16, 17, 18 19..get my point? Obviously, since I’m not married and I’m not with the last […]

The post Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(12320) "

Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? What? Have “I” ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? Let’s see, there was that one time when I was 15, another time when I was 16, 17, 18 19..get my point? Obviously, since I’m not married and I’m not with the last person I dated…wow, now that I think about it ..every relationship that I”ve ever been in has never worked. Whoa, that was deep.

This isn’t the part where I bitch about how men need to come with a manual. This is actually the part where I bitch about not having a manual for myself. Hello. I wasn’t born ‘knowing’ how to make my relationships work. I’ve learned that it’s a process, you kind of learn as you go. I must throw in the saying, “If I knew then what I knew now”. If I knew then what I knew now, I would probably be happily married, with children and a white picket fence. But, that’s no fun..now is it? The fun part is getting your heart broken and trying to figure out how to glue it back together.

According to the manual, wait…there is no manual. There is no manual to tell you exactly how ‘your’ relationship should work. Wouldn’t it be great if we all came with our own little manuals? You could just hand it to the person you were about to date so they could understand how you work and function and vice versa. Even though we don’t have manuals, we do have blogs, articles, Dr. Phil  and self-proclaimed queens (such as myself) to help us along.  Wouldn’t it be great if you could see into the future of a relationship to see if it had potential? There would be no wasted time, energy or love on someone. With that being said, we all get into relationships that never seem to work out. The real key is to be able to spot these sort of relationships in the beginning so you can avoid them. It’s better to realize your error in the very beginning than to marry your mistake.

Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail:

1) You are infatuated with your partner

Ahh, isn’t infatuation fun? Remember the butterflies, you couldn’t eat and all you could do was think about that person but you barely even knew them? I know I keep talking about my ex-fiance, I apologize but he is a prime example of …well, everything. Did you know that infatuation can last up to two years. Guess how long me and the ex dated? Oh, humor me. Yes, it was two years. I was infatuated with his success and the fact that he seemed to have his life together. I soon figured out that even though he had his shit together on the outside, the inside was a hot mess.

I’m not saying infatuation is a bad thing, it’s just not the ‘real thing’. It’s normal to be infatuated with someone in the beginning but it usually fades. You need to be able to recognize the difference between infatuation of someone and really liking someone for who they are..flaws and all. If you ignore the flaws and the red flags, you will end up wasting your time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

2) You see your partner as a role model

You know, I used to date a youth pastor. Yes, I know, am I wrong for that? I knew Daddy would be proud since he was practically a preacher himself. It was so easy to put this dude up on a pedestal. I mean, hello, who wouldn’t look up to him? He had a VIP pass to heaven. There are two reasons you might fall in love with role models:

A) You are spiritually and emotionally empty

Oh, hello me. You think it’s a kawinkydink that I dated a youth pastor? Yes, I was spiritually drained and what a great way to get filled with the holy ghost, right? Things went kind of sour with the whole youth pastor thing. It didn’t help me with spiritual growth and  I think I ended up corrupting him. Picture this: Wednesday night he preaches about “no sex before marriage” to his youth group, then goes home and has sex with me. It felt naughty at first but then I started to feel like a sinner and felt as if I ruined the anointed. Ouch.

B) You are dating your parents

Why in the hell would I want to date my Daddy. I mean, ew. Well it happens and it happened. My Dad was a deep fried southern Baptist. It only made sense that I was going after someone that was just as close to the “holy one” as my father was. I’m thinking I should have just tried to grab the nearest bible rather than waste my time on someone I was only attracted to because of their “role model” status. If you see yourself in a relationship where you put your partner on a pedestal…it’s probably doomed to fail.

3) You are on the rebound

Oh, me. This is the story of my life. Almost everyone I have dated was a rebound. I would jump from one relationship to the other. I seldom even liked the people I dated but they did have a pulse so that counts for something. Not only would I rebound but I would pick someone that was the complete opposite of the last man. Man, I was just bouncing from here to there. I had no idea what I really wanted. I just knew that I didn’t want what I had before so I would seek out something different. You really can’t find ‘the one’ unless you are comfortable in your own skin and know exactly what you want. It’s so easy to settle but if you are looking for true happiness you just can’t. If you are in a relationship that was formed because of a break up, it’s probably doomed to fail.

4) Your partner is not available

I’m going to be honest with this one. I have never dated a married man. The ring on the left finger has always been a total turn-off for me. There I said it. I do, however, have friends that have been in relationships with married men. Here’s the first tip: I am almost 99% positive they are never going to leave their spouse for you. Why would they when they can have their cake and eat it too? You are setting yourself up to have your heart smashed into a million pieces.

Why would you want to go after someone that is unavailable? Mmm, maybe you need to do a self-check here. Are you afraid of true commitment? If they did leave their spouse, would you even want them? Yes, it’s a rush in the beginning but the infatuation soon fades and you are left with a complete mess. You deserve more than this. You deserve someone that wants to be with you and ONLY you. Do not sell yourself short, please. There is someone out there that will give you attention and love you even more than someone else’s spouse ever could. Please don’t settle for leftovers. So, if you are thinking about going after someone that is unavailable, the relationship is doomed to fail.

5) You are out to rescue your partner

Yep, that’s me. I was the one to everyone’s rescue. Co-dependency, anyone? I always felt the need to get into relationships with men that were financially and emotionally retarded. I could not figure out why I kept doing this, was it bad luck? No. It had nothing to do with the men and everything to do with..me! I needed to feel important. I needed to feel like someone needed me. I also put so much focus into these other men that it helped me forget about my own issues. These relationships are not healthy nor are the balanced. It’s usually a one way street where one person gives more than the other. You can’t rescue anyone if they don’t want to help themselves. Please don’t learn this the hard way. If you have an itch to rescue, go to the nearest animal shelter and rescue a puppy. If you have found your way into a rescue type relationship, it’s probably doomed to fail.

6) You are in love with what your partner “could be”

I saw the best in everyone. I kept telling myself, “One day he’s going to be something”. He has all this potential, he’s on his way. Wrong. I wasn’t in love with the person, I was actually in love with who I thought they would become. Talk about false hopes. People are the way they are. If you are my age, chances of us changing are slim to none. Don’t get yourself into a relationship thinking that your partner has the potential to change. Again, this is another way to avoid your own issues and focus on fixing your partner. I spent two years with a man once and told myself I wasn’t leaving until he changed. It was like a challenge. You know what happened? I was the one that changed. I lost my self-esteem and confidence in the long run and it wasn’t worth it at all. If you are with a person because you see their potential, the relationship is doomed to fail.

7) You like your partner more than they like you

Ouchie. This one stings a little. Why would you want to be in a relationship where you cared more about the person more than they did you? I ask myself the same question. I’m so guilty of this. You have the hopes that one day they will just wake up and have a ‘aha’ moment. It seldom happens. Again, sometimes when we get in these sort of relationships, it’s not about the other person but about our own issues.

I’ve been in these relationships and the more I saw they didn’t care the more I wanted to be with them. Crazy, uh? It’s like I was begging for acceptance. I was begging for approval. I never got it. I was only left wondering what was wrong with me. Why don’t they like me? Hell, why are they even with me? Little did I know, most of them were with me to use me because I was the care taker. Sick, uh? I had to take responsibility of my own issues and get the hell out of the relationship. If you are in a relationship where you care more about the person than they do you, it’s doomed to fail. The exact opposite is true. If you are in a relationship where the person cares more about you than you do them, it’s doomed to fail.

If you see yourself in any of these relationships, I suggest you run for the hills. Don’t worry I’m right behind you. There’s no reason to stay in a relationship if it does not have some sort of balance. There’s no need to stay in a relationship that is not healthy. You deserve the best. What are you waiting for? Go out and get it!. Okay, that was cheesy.

The post Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? What? Have “I” ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? Let’s see, there was that one time when I was 15, another time when I was 16, 17, 18 19..get my point? Obviously, since I’m not married and I’m not with the last […]

The post Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(12320) "

Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? What? Have “I” ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work? Let’s see, there was that one time when I was 15, another time when I was 16, 17, 18 19..get my point? Obviously, since I’m not married and I’m not with the last person I dated…wow, now that I think about it ..every relationship that I”ve ever been in has never worked. Whoa, that was deep.

This isn’t the part where I bitch about how men need to come with a manual. This is actually the part where I bitch about not having a manual for myself. Hello. I wasn’t born ‘knowing’ how to make my relationships work. I’ve learned that it’s a process, you kind of learn as you go. I must throw in the saying, “If I knew then what I knew now”. If I knew then what I knew now, I would probably be happily married, with children and a white picket fence. But, that’s no fun..now is it? The fun part is getting your heart broken and trying to figure out how to glue it back together.

According to the manual, wait…there is no manual. There is no manual to tell you exactly how ‘your’ relationship should work. Wouldn’t it be great if we all came with our own little manuals? You could just hand it to the person you were about to date so they could understand how you work and function and vice versa. Even though we don’t have manuals, we do have blogs, articles, Dr. Phil  and self-proclaimed queens (such as myself) to help us along.  Wouldn’t it be great if you could see into the future of a relationship to see if it had potential? There would be no wasted time, energy or love on someone. With that being said, we all get into relationships that never seem to work out. The real key is to be able to spot these sort of relationships in the beginning so you can avoid them. It’s better to realize your error in the very beginning than to marry your mistake.

Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail:

1) You are infatuated with your partner

Ahh, isn’t infatuation fun? Remember the butterflies, you couldn’t eat and all you could do was think about that person but you barely even knew them? I know I keep talking about my ex-fiance, I apologize but he is a prime example of …well, everything. Did you know that infatuation can last up to two years. Guess how long me and the ex dated? Oh, humor me. Yes, it was two years. I was infatuated with his success and the fact that he seemed to have his life together. I soon figured out that even though he had his shit together on the outside, the inside was a hot mess.

I’m not saying infatuation is a bad thing, it’s just not the ‘real thing’. It’s normal to be infatuated with someone in the beginning but it usually fades. You need to be able to recognize the difference between infatuation of someone and really liking someone for who they are..flaws and all. If you ignore the flaws and the red flags, you will end up wasting your time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

2) You see your partner as a role model

You know, I used to date a youth pastor. Yes, I know, am I wrong for that? I knew Daddy would be proud since he was practically a preacher himself. It was so easy to put this dude up on a pedestal. I mean, hello, who wouldn’t look up to him? He had a VIP pass to heaven. There are two reasons you might fall in love with role models:

A) You are spiritually and emotionally empty

Oh, hello me. You think it’s a kawinkydink that I dated a youth pastor? Yes, I was spiritually drained and what a great way to get filled with the holy ghost, right? Things went kind of sour with the whole youth pastor thing. It didn’t help me with spiritual growth and  I think I ended up corrupting him. Picture this: Wednesday night he preaches about “no sex before marriage” to his youth group, then goes home and has sex with me. It felt naughty at first but then I started to feel like a sinner and felt as if I ruined the anointed. Ouch.

B) You are dating your parents

Why in the hell would I want to date my Daddy. I mean, ew. Well it happens and it happened. My Dad was a deep fried southern Baptist. It only made sense that I was going after someone that was just as close to the “holy one” as my father was. I’m thinking I should have just tried to grab the nearest bible rather than waste my time on someone I was only attracted to because of their “role model” status. If you see yourself in a relationship where you put your partner on a pedestal…it’s probably doomed to fail.

3) You are on the rebound

Oh, me. This is the story of my life. Almost everyone I have dated was a rebound. I would jump from one relationship to the other. I seldom even liked the people I dated but they did have a pulse so that counts for something. Not only would I rebound but I would pick someone that was the complete opposite of the last man. Man, I was just bouncing from here to there. I had no idea what I really wanted. I just knew that I didn’t want what I had before so I would seek out something different. You really can’t find ‘the one’ unless you are comfortable in your own skin and know exactly what you want. It’s so easy to settle but if you are looking for true happiness you just can’t. If you are in a relationship that was formed because of a break up, it’s probably doomed to fail.

4) Your partner is not available

I’m going to be honest with this one. I have never dated a married man. The ring on the left finger has always been a total turn-off for me. There I said it. I do, however, have friends that have been in relationships with married men. Here’s the first tip: I am almost 99% positive they are never going to leave their spouse for you. Why would they when they can have their cake and eat it too? You are setting yourself up to have your heart smashed into a million pieces.

Why would you want to go after someone that is unavailable? Mmm, maybe you need to do a self-check here. Are you afraid of true commitment? If they did leave their spouse, would you even want them? Yes, it’s a rush in the beginning but the infatuation soon fades and you are left with a complete mess. You deserve more than this. You deserve someone that wants to be with you and ONLY you. Do not sell yourself short, please. There is someone out there that will give you attention and love you even more than someone else’s spouse ever could. Please don’t settle for leftovers. So, if you are thinking about going after someone that is unavailable, the relationship is doomed to fail.

5) You are out to rescue your partner

Yep, that’s me. I was the one to everyone’s rescue. Co-dependency, anyone? I always felt the need to get into relationships with men that were financially and emotionally retarded. I could not figure out why I kept doing this, was it bad luck? No. It had nothing to do with the men and everything to do with..me! I needed to feel important. I needed to feel like someone needed me. I also put so much focus into these other men that it helped me forget about my own issues. These relationships are not healthy nor are the balanced. It’s usually a one way street where one person gives more than the other. You can’t rescue anyone if they don’t want to help themselves. Please don’t learn this the hard way. If you have an itch to rescue, go to the nearest animal shelter and rescue a puppy. If you have found your way into a rescue type relationship, it’s probably doomed to fail.

6) You are in love with what your partner “could be”

I saw the best in everyone. I kept telling myself, “One day he’s going to be something”. He has all this potential, he’s on his way. Wrong. I wasn’t in love with the person, I was actually in love with who I thought they would become. Talk about false hopes. People are the way they are. If you are my age, chances of us changing are slim to none. Don’t get yourself into a relationship thinking that your partner has the potential to change. Again, this is another way to avoid your own issues and focus on fixing your partner. I spent two years with a man once and told myself I wasn’t leaving until he changed. It was like a challenge. You know what happened? I was the one that changed. I lost my self-esteem and confidence in the long run and it wasn’t worth it at all. If you are with a person because you see their potential, the relationship is doomed to fail.

7) You like your partner more than they like you

Ouchie. This one stings a little. Why would you want to be in a relationship where you cared more about the person more than they did you? I ask myself the same question. I’m so guilty of this. You have the hopes that one day they will just wake up and have a ‘aha’ moment. It seldom happens. Again, sometimes when we get in these sort of relationships, it’s not about the other person but about our own issues.

I’ve been in these relationships and the more I saw they didn’t care the more I wanted to be with them. Crazy, uh? It’s like I was begging for acceptance. I was begging for approval. I never got it. I was only left wondering what was wrong with me. Why don’t they like me? Hell, why are they even with me? Little did I know, most of them were with me to use me because I was the care taker. Sick, uh? I had to take responsibility of my own issues and get the hell out of the relationship. If you are in a relationship where you care more about the person than they do you, it’s doomed to fail. The exact opposite is true. If you are in a relationship where the person cares more about you than you do them, it’s doomed to fail.

If you see yourself in any of these relationships, I suggest you run for the hills. Don’t worry I’m right behind you. There’s no reason to stay in a relationship if it does not have some sort of balance. There’s no need to stay in a relationship that is not healthy. You deserve the best. What are you waiting for? Go out and get it!. Okay, that was cheesy.

The post Relationships That Are Doomed To Fail appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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What’s  worse than having to deal with a mamma’s boy? It’s having to deal with a mamma’s boy and his mamma. What’s worse than that? Dealing with a mamma’s boymother and father. You can only wish that when you get married, that you marry into a wonderful happy family. It’s very seldom that this happens. Of course, some […]

The post Having Trouble With Your In-Laws? Join The Damn Club! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7737) "

What’s  worse than having to deal with a mamma’s boy? It’s having to deal with a mamma’s boy and his mamma. What’s worse than that? Dealing with a mamma’s boymother and father. You can only wish that when you get married, that you marry into a wonderful happy family. It’s very seldom that this happens. Of course, some people are blessed with great in-laws and with that, they are very fortunate.

Listen, this isn’t just about mamma’s boys, it’s also about daddy’s little girl. I’m not bias when discussing the in-law issue. You will hear me say him, he, his, boy, dude, bastard- because I’m a woman and deal with the opposite sex. Know this, there is no prejudice with either sex when it comes to toxic in-laws. The world is full of men still nursing on their mother’s tit and father’s that are still holding on to their “little” girls.

The problem isn’t with the in-laws. Yes, they are probably overbearing, controlling and straight up koo koo but the real issue lies within your partner. In-laws wouldn’t be so ‘in your face’, nosy or controlling if your partner didn’t allow it. They are getting their way because they can. If your partner tolerates any sort of outlandish behavior your relationship might be on the rocks.

The Scary Thing About Toxic In-Laws

You Don’t Figure Out Their Crazy Until After The Wedding

Everyone puts on a pretty face. Just like you are in the honeymoon stage with your partner, you are also in the honeymoon stage with his family. Oh, you probably though they were the best in the beginning. It’s very common to see the light once you say, ” I do”. You probably didn’t realize you were saying “I do” to a man that is still breast feeding.

Your Partner Doesn’t See It

This is the crazy part. Look, he doesn’t know any different b/c this is what he’s always known. He’s used to his mother being overbearing, “Oh, that’s just how mother is”.Even though it’s far from normal, he doesn’t seem to see the problem….which will be a major problem.

You Are A Threat

You probably weren’t much of a threat before the two of you got married. You see, there have probably been several women in and out of their son’s life. Once you said the vows and become one, this is when you pose a threat to the mother’s precious little boy. Most toxic mother-in-laws wait until after the wedding to spit venom. Get ready.

Having Children

This is when I realize my “could have been” mother-in-law was the evil spawn of satan. I had an idea before but after I had my son this only validated it. At one point, she admitted that she thought my son was hers. Koo koo. Big events in life, you’ll see who people really are. It just sucks that you have to wait until after the honeymoon is over, getting back to reality to only realize you married into a family of loons.

You Might Have Toxic In-Laws If:

The only person that can stop this crazy “koo koo” cycle of In-law psychoness is your partner. He is the one that is eventually going to either have to cut off all ties or tell them where they can go. Your partner needs to understand that he is a big boy now, he doesn’t need his parents approval anymore.

What Your Partner Should Tell His Parents To Keep The Peace

When you disrespect my wife, you are disrespecting me. If you are going to continue to disrespect her then we will no longer be a part of your lives. I’m not talking about just her, that includes me also.

Please do not be invasive anymore. This is our house, not yours. You are welcome to come over but you must call before you come. If we feel like having company, we will let you know.

I have my own family now. I have a wife and children. This is NOT your life. You’ve done all you could do with raising me, now it’s time to let me go. I appreciate your advise but I am going to things and make choices that me and my wife discuss first. So, please quit meddlin and being nosy and giving unwanted advice.

Just because I am married, it doesn’t mean that I am no longer a part of your family. I will always be your son. You will always be my mother. No one will ever take your place. Please don’t feel that because I am married that you are losing a son, you are just gaining a daughter.

If this doesn’t work, then you might want to call Dr. Phil. Relationships are hard enough as it is. It doesn’t seem to help when other people get thrown into the mix. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do when it comes to toxic in-laws. But, you teach people how to treat you. If you allow them to walk all over you from the beginning, they will continue to do it. Stand your ground and take your peace. Stand up for you, your children and for the future of you and your partner’s relationship.

The post Having Trouble With Your In-Laws? Join The Damn Club! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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What’s  worse than having to deal with a mamma’s boy? It’s having to deal with a mamma’s boy and his mamma. What’s worse than that? Dealing with a mamma’s boymother and father. You can only wish that when you get married, that you marry into a wonderful happy family. It’s very seldom that this happens. Of course, some […]

The post Having Trouble With Your In-Laws? Join The Damn Club! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7737) "

What’s  worse than having to deal with a mamma’s boy? It’s having to deal with a mamma’s boy and his mamma. What’s worse than that? Dealing with a mamma’s boymother and father. You can only wish that when you get married, that you marry into a wonderful happy family. It’s very seldom that this happens. Of course, some people are blessed with great in-laws and with that, they are very fortunate.

Listen, this isn’t just about mamma’s boys, it’s also about daddy’s little girl. I’m not bias when discussing the in-law issue. You will hear me say him, he, his, boy, dude, bastard- because I’m a woman and deal with the opposite sex. Know this, there is no prejudice with either sex when it comes to toxic in-laws. The world is full of men still nursing on their mother’s tit and father’s that are still holding on to their “little” girls.

The problem isn’t with the in-laws. Yes, they are probably overbearing, controlling and straight up koo koo but the real issue lies within your partner. In-laws wouldn’t be so ‘in your face’, nosy or controlling if your partner didn’t allow it. They are getting their way because they can. If your partner tolerates any sort of outlandish behavior your relationship might be on the rocks.

The Scary Thing About Toxic In-Laws

You Don’t Figure Out Their Crazy Until After The Wedding

Everyone puts on a pretty face. Just like you are in the honeymoon stage with your partner, you are also in the honeymoon stage with his family. Oh, you probably though they were the best in the beginning. It’s very common to see the light once you say, ” I do”. You probably didn’t realize you were saying “I do” to a man that is still breast feeding.

Your Partner Doesn’t See It

This is the crazy part. Look, he doesn’t know any different b/c this is what he’s always known. He’s used to his mother being overbearing, “Oh, that’s just how mother is”.Even though it’s far from normal, he doesn’t seem to see the problem….which will be a major problem.

You Are A Threat

You probably weren’t much of a threat before the two of you got married. You see, there have probably been several women in and out of their son’s life. Once you said the vows and become one, this is when you pose a threat to the mother’s precious little boy. Most toxic mother-in-laws wait until after the wedding to spit venom. Get ready.

Having Children

This is when I realize my “could have been” mother-in-law was the evil spawn of satan. I had an idea before but after I had my son this only validated it. At one point, she admitted that she thought my son was hers. Koo koo. Big events in life, you’ll see who people really are. It just sucks that you have to wait until after the honeymoon is over, getting back to reality to only realize you married into a family of loons.

You Might Have Toxic In-Laws If:

The only person that can stop this crazy “koo koo” cycle of In-law psychoness is your partner. He is the one that is eventually going to either have to cut off all ties or tell them where they can go. Your partner needs to understand that he is a big boy now, he doesn’t need his parents approval anymore.

What Your Partner Should Tell His Parents To Keep The Peace

When you disrespect my wife, you are disrespecting me. If you are going to continue to disrespect her then we will no longer be a part of your lives. I’m not talking about just her, that includes me also.

Please do not be invasive anymore. This is our house, not yours. You are welcome to come over but you must call before you come. If we feel like having company, we will let you know.

I have my own family now. I have a wife and children. This is NOT your life. You’ve done all you could do with raising me, now it’s time to let me go. I appreciate your advise but I am going to things and make choices that me and my wife discuss first. So, please quit meddlin and being nosy and giving unwanted advice.

Just because I am married, it doesn’t mean that I am no longer a part of your family. I will always be your son. You will always be my mother. No one will ever take your place. Please don’t feel that because I am married that you are losing a son, you are just gaining a daughter.

If this doesn’t work, then you might want to call Dr. Phil. Relationships are hard enough as it is. It doesn’t seem to help when other people get thrown into the mix. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do when it comes to toxic in-laws. But, you teach people how to treat you. If you allow them to walk all over you from the beginning, they will continue to do it. Stand your ground and take your peace. Stand up for you, your children and for the future of you and your partner’s relationship.

The post Having Trouble With Your In-Laws? Join The Damn Club! appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634561247) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(30) "Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?" ["link"]=> string(68) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/are-you-afraid-of-being-alone/" ["comments"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/are-you-afraid-of-being-alone/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 18 Oct 2021 12:36:08 +0000" ["category"]=> string(52) "Being Singlebeing alonebeing singlesinglesingle life" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8243" ["description"]=> string(587) "

There are several things that women worry about and fear. It could be bills, being successful, finding the right man or being alone. I honestly don’t think that we were made to be alone. Yes, maybe being single. Think about other cultures in other countries, a lot of the families live together: the mother, father, children, […]

The post Are You Afraid Of Being Alone? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(8559) "

There are several things that women worry about and fear. It could be bills, being successful, finding the right man or being alone. I honestly don’t think that we were made to be alone. Yes, maybe being single. Think about other cultures in other countries, a lot of the families live together: the mother, father, children, grandparents and maybe even uncles and aunts. To me, this seems to be very healthy and therapeutic. Of course, I’m sure it might possible drive someone mad but overall it’s the core of a true family.

I think life might go a little smoother if you are surrounded by those or that one special person that adores you. You know, to have an awesome support system. The fact that it seems to be healthy to be surrounded by people or even one person possible fuels the fear of being alone. Coming home to an empty house can sometimes stimulate loneliness. But, this shouldn’t make you jump into any sort of relationship. Surrounding yourself with family and friends can fill this void. What am I getting at? Well, I’ll bore you a little with my own personal love history.

I had my first boyfriend at 15. He wasn’t right for me. I didn’t really even like him but I loved the feeling of not being “alone”. I dated him two years too long. It was then that I started on my relationship journey. For years, I constantly stayed in relationships, jumping out of one to go to another. It wasn’t until recently I had an “aha” moment and stopped. I was putting more focus and obsessiveness on my relationships than putting myself and priorities first. What could I have possibly been running from?

So, are you a relationship junkie? Are you jumping from one relationship to another? When was the last time you were single? How long were you single? These are a few questions to ask yourself. Are you afraid of being alone? Being alone might seem simple but sometimes there are other issues behind it.

You Might Be Afraid Of Being Alone If:

You Are Always In A Relationship

If you find yourself always in a relationship, you just might be afraid of being alone. But, you know what? There are worse things than being alone and that’s being with the wrong person. It’s better to be alone and be happy than to be with someone and be miserable, but you have to find your happiness.

The Back burner Boy

This is something I used to do when I was younger. I’m not voicing that it’s right but this was just another trick to keep me from having to be alone. I would keep another guy on the back burner. I didn’t exactly call it cheating, there wasn’t anything physical but possibly emotional. So, when things didn’t work out with the initial guy I would go to the back burner guy. I did this in my teenage and early college years. It’s not healthy by any means.

Abusive Relationships

Many of us have been in abusive relationships. Why the hell do we stay in them? Because we get beat down to the point we think nobody else would want us? We are afraid to leave because we are fearful or is it just that we are so comfortable and we are afraid of being alone? Never settle.

The Wrong Person

You know there all kinds of wrong for you. You are even that compatible. You really aren’t even sure that you like this person or could see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. The fear of being alone can land you in a sticky relationship with a person that is completely wrong for you, the sad part is…you know it.

Quick To Get Serious

When I was younger, it seemed that if I went out with someone on a date, I would end up in a serious relationship with them. This isn’t healthy. It goes back to dating the wrong person. I wasn’t very selective with the people I dated I just didn’t want to be alone. Things would get real serious real fast and then, as usual, I would end up in a miserable relationship that pacified my sick comfort craving.

Learning to be alone is extremely healthy.

You will never have a good, solid, strong relationship with anyone unless you have learned to be alone. You can’t depend on other people to fill the voids that you have or to bypass the issues you need to deal with. Many people get obsessive about relationships because it takes the focus off of their own issues. If you do this, all you are doing is delaying the healing process. Learn to be alone, learn to be happy and learn to love yourself. Then, someone will truly be able to love you.

Don’t Date For 6 Months

Try to go without dating for six months. I know it might be hard but it’s time for some YOU time. During this time, you need to focus on your career, your goals, your health, your children and your happiness. It might be hard at first but you might come to find that you actually like it.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Go ahead and get out of your comfort zone. Do something different. Go take a few classes that interest you. Try to fill up your time so you won’t be sitting at home thinkinghow lonely you are.

Make New Friends

There’s nothing like having new friends. You can never have too many of the right friends. Get out and meet people. This might involved joining a club or going to church functions.

Date Several Different People

When you start dating people, date different people. Don’t stick to your typical stereotypical date/man/woman.You might realize that you are missing out on some great people. Go against the grain a little bit.

Get Counseling

If you are struggling with some issues that push you to be in relationships to hide, get help. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help. Actually, it takes the bigger person to voice that they need help. Start going to counseling and working on these issues. I don’t recommend counseling and dating at the same time. You should probably go to therapy and work out some glitches before going back into the dating world.

Love Yourself

Most people that are afraid of being alone do not feel loved by anyone, including themselves. The only way to find true love is to learn how to love yourself. If you are going to therapy, this will push you in the right direction. Try positive affirmations. Tell yourself you are beautiful, smart and intelligent. Your word usage and positivity is very powerful.

You are not alone in being afraid of being alone. You don’t have to be fearful anymore. There are just certain steps you need to take to get to that point in your life where you are comfortable alone. Keep faith and stay positive.

The post Are You Afraid Of Being Alone? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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There are several things that women worry about and fear. It could be bills, being successful, finding the right man or being alone. I honestly don’t think that we were made to be alone. Yes, maybe being single. Think about other cultures in other countries, a lot of the families live together: the mother, father, children, […]

The post Are You Afraid Of Being Alone? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(8559) "

There are several things that women worry about and fear. It could be bills, being successful, finding the right man or being alone. I honestly don’t think that we were made to be alone. Yes, maybe being single. Think about other cultures in other countries, a lot of the families live together: the mother, father, children, grandparents and maybe even uncles and aunts. To me, this seems to be very healthy and therapeutic. Of course, I’m sure it might possible drive someone mad but overall it’s the core of a true family.

I think life might go a little smoother if you are surrounded by those or that one special person that adores you. You know, to have an awesome support system. The fact that it seems to be healthy to be surrounded by people or even one person possible fuels the fear of being alone. Coming home to an empty house can sometimes stimulate loneliness. But, this shouldn’t make you jump into any sort of relationship. Surrounding yourself with family and friends can fill this void. What am I getting at? Well, I’ll bore you a little with my own personal love history.

I had my first boyfriend at 15. He wasn’t right for me. I didn’t really even like him but I loved the feeling of not being “alone”. I dated him two years too long. It was then that I started on my relationship journey. For years, I constantly stayed in relationships, jumping out of one to go to another. It wasn’t until recently I had an “aha” moment and stopped. I was putting more focus and obsessiveness on my relationships than putting myself and priorities first. What could I have possibly been running from?

So, are you a relationship junkie? Are you jumping from one relationship to another? When was the last time you were single? How long were you single? These are a few questions to ask yourself. Are you afraid of being alone? Being alone might seem simple but sometimes there are other issues behind it.

You Might Be Afraid Of Being Alone If:

You Are Always In A Relationship

If you find yourself always in a relationship, you just might be afraid of being alone. But, you know what? There are worse things than being alone and that’s being with the wrong person. It’s better to be alone and be happy than to be with someone and be miserable, but you have to find your happiness.

The Back burner Boy

This is something I used to do when I was younger. I’m not voicing that it’s right but this was just another trick to keep me from having to be alone. I would keep another guy on the back burner. I didn’t exactly call it cheating, there wasn’t anything physical but possibly emotional. So, when things didn’t work out with the initial guy I would go to the back burner guy. I did this in my teenage and early college years. It’s not healthy by any means.

Abusive Relationships

Many of us have been in abusive relationships. Why the hell do we stay in them? Because we get beat down to the point we think nobody else would want us? We are afraid to leave because we are fearful or is it just that we are so comfortable and we are afraid of being alone? Never settle.

The Wrong Person

You know there all kinds of wrong for you. You are even that compatible. You really aren’t even sure that you like this person or could see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. The fear of being alone can land you in a sticky relationship with a person that is completely wrong for you, the sad part is…you know it.

Quick To Get Serious

When I was younger, it seemed that if I went out with someone on a date, I would end up in a serious relationship with them. This isn’t healthy. It goes back to dating the wrong person. I wasn’t very selective with the people I dated I just didn’t want to be alone. Things would get real serious real fast and then, as usual, I would end up in a miserable relationship that pacified my sick comfort craving.

Learning to be alone is extremely healthy.

You will never have a good, solid, strong relationship with anyone unless you have learned to be alone. You can’t depend on other people to fill the voids that you have or to bypass the issues you need to deal with. Many people get obsessive about relationships because it takes the focus off of their own issues. If you do this, all you are doing is delaying the healing process. Learn to be alone, learn to be happy and learn to love yourself. Then, someone will truly be able to love you.

Don’t Date For 6 Months

Try to go without dating for six months. I know it might be hard but it’s time for some YOU time. During this time, you need to focus on your career, your goals, your health, your children and your happiness. It might be hard at first but you might come to find that you actually like it.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Go ahead and get out of your comfort zone. Do something different. Go take a few classes that interest you. Try to fill up your time so you won’t be sitting at home thinkinghow lonely you are.

Make New Friends

There’s nothing like having new friends. You can never have too many of the right friends. Get out and meet people. This might involved joining a club or going to church functions.

Date Several Different People

When you start dating people, date different people. Don’t stick to your typical stereotypical date/man/woman.You might realize that you are missing out on some great people. Go against the grain a little bit.

Get Counseling

If you are struggling with some issues that push you to be in relationships to hide, get help. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help. Actually, it takes the bigger person to voice that they need help. Start going to counseling and working on these issues. I don’t recommend counseling and dating at the same time. You should probably go to therapy and work out some glitches before going back into the dating world.

Love Yourself

Most people that are afraid of being alone do not feel loved by anyone, including themselves. The only way to find true love is to learn how to love yourself. If you are going to therapy, this will push you in the right direction. Try positive affirmations. Tell yourself you are beautiful, smart and intelligent. Your word usage and positivity is very powerful.

You are not alone in being afraid of being alone. You don’t have to be fearful anymore. There are just certain steps you need to take to get to that point in your life where you are comfortable alone. Keep faith and stay positive.

The post Are You Afraid Of Being Alone? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634560568) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(36) "How Many People Have You Slept With?" ["link"]=> string(74) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/how-many-people-have-you-slept-with/" ["comments"]=> string(82) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/how-many-people-have-you-slept-with/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(14) "Shannon Fisher" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 18 Oct 2021 12:26:12 +0000" ["category"]=> string(10) "Love & Sex" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8238" ["description"]=> string(576) "

So, you finally met the person of your dreams. You both get along so great it feels like love. You are satisfied physically and emotionally. You are starting to get extremely comfortable around one another. The question is both in the back of your minds and it’s only a matter of time until the question […]

The post How Many People Have You Slept With? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7346) "

So, you finally met the person of your dreams. You both get along so great it feels like love. You are satisfied physically and emotionally. You are starting to get extremely comfortable around one another. The question is both in the back of your minds and it’s only a matter of time until the question is blurted out. So, how many people have you slept with?

This seems to be a common question that couples ask each other? But why? Most people think that by knowing how many partners they have been with somewhat lets them know what kind of person they are or what kind of person they used to be. There might be a moment of silence after the question is asked. You mind is racing through the numbers. You might think that there have been too many or you might even think that the number is too small.

Is this a question you should answer? Yes, relationships are about communication and honesty but do you really feel like you can be honest about it? I am willing to bed that most people lie about the numbers. Maybe you were a wild child growing up and you made a few mistakes here and there. Hell, you might have even made 82 mistakes. Maybe you feel that you haven’t been with enough people and this might make you look inexperienced. So, how many people have you slept with?

To me, this is a question that moves into dangerous territory. I have heard stories about couples that were planning on getting married. The ring was placed on the finger and the wedding date was already set. The woman decides that she doesn’t want to keep any secrets from her potential husband so she spills the beans. He can’t handle the beans. The one person he thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with is now a woman that had a promiscuous past. He says that he would never judge her from her past but he does just that. He is having second thoughts on getting married and the wedding is called off.

Women are somewhat different when it comes to numbers. Most women assume that their man has been with several partners. Of course, don’t forget the double-standard we all know and love.What is it? A man has sex with an infinite number of women and he is considered a “pimp” by his friends and society. But and this is a huge “But”, when a woman has sex with a large number of people she is then considered a slut, easy or a hootchie mamma. So, really how many people have you slept with? Is this a question that should be asked? Is this a question that should be answered? In my opinion, definitely not. The last relationship I was in the number of people we slept with never came up. Honestly, I did not want to know how many people he had slept with and I think he felt the same. Whether you slept with 3 people or 100, why would anyone want to know this popular number? Someone that I dated before told me how many people he slept with and all I could think about was him on top of someone else. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind.That number was engraved in my brain and questions started to rise to the surface?

Was I good enough as everyone else?
Is he comparing me to everyone else?

Why would you even want to torment yourself like this? Shouldn’t the past remain in the past? Some say that the past is a predictor the the future? So, just because he was a man whore then is he a man whore now? Not necessarily. People change. The longer he goes without being a man whore his past starts to change. Who knows, maybe he was a man whore in his younger years but straightened up as he got older.

The numbers are something you shouldn’t have to think about. Plus, 9 times out of 10, people will lie about it. They lie about it because they don’t want to be judged. They don’t want you to think less of them. No one wants to be thought of as a slut or a man whore. So, you better think long and hard before you ask the number question. Do you think you can handle it? You better think long and hard before you answer that question. Did you think he/ she can handle it?

I once had a friend that was a recovering slut. She had been with a number of people in her wild days but grew up and settled down. She was nervous about this number and cringed every time a man asked the question. Through trial and error, she found that giving up these numbers damaged the relationship and her character to her partner. She finally came up with a good answer. So, how many people have you slept with? “Enough to know what I’m doing”. Great answer. Applause.

If you partner is dead set on knowing the numbers, try to explain to him that they are not important now. Of course, saying this might make him think that you have been with a lot of people? What is a lot of people, though? What might seem like a huge number to you might be nothing to him, or the exact opposite. They always say that when a woman tells how many people she has slept with multiply it by 3. When a guy is hanging out with the guys and they are telling each other how many people they have slept with you should subtract it by 15. This is quite comical to me.You will never know if you are getting an honest answer or not so there’s no real reason to even discuss it. How will this benefit your relationship? It won’t. If anything it will cause conflict.

So, should you ask the loaded question? Should you answer the loaded question? My advice is absolutely not. Telling your numbers is basically like letting someone read your private journal. It’s private, it’s your business and really none of theirs. Instead of focusing on how many people the other has been with, focus on the present. Respect each other’s privacy, please. You are together now and anything before that doesn’t really matter.

The post How Many People Have You Slept With? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(79) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/how-many-people-have-you-slept-with/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(576) "

So, you finally met the person of your dreams. You both get along so great it feels like love. You are satisfied physically and emotionally. You are starting to get extremely comfortable around one another. The question is both in the back of your minds and it’s only a matter of time until the question […]

The post How Many People Have You Slept With? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7346) "

So, you finally met the person of your dreams. You both get along so great it feels like love. You are satisfied physically and emotionally. You are starting to get extremely comfortable around one another. The question is both in the back of your minds and it’s only a matter of time until the question is blurted out. So, how many people have you slept with?

This seems to be a common question that couples ask each other? But why? Most people think that by knowing how many partners they have been with somewhat lets them know what kind of person they are or what kind of person they used to be. There might be a moment of silence after the question is asked. You mind is racing through the numbers. You might think that there have been too many or you might even think that the number is too small.

Is this a question you should answer? Yes, relationships are about communication and honesty but do you really feel like you can be honest about it? I am willing to bed that most people lie about the numbers. Maybe you were a wild child growing up and you made a few mistakes here and there. Hell, you might have even made 82 mistakes. Maybe you feel that you haven’t been with enough people and this might make you look inexperienced. So, how many people have you slept with?

To me, this is a question that moves into dangerous territory. I have heard stories about couples that were planning on getting married. The ring was placed on the finger and the wedding date was already set. The woman decides that she doesn’t want to keep any secrets from her potential husband so she spills the beans. He can’t handle the beans. The one person he thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with is now a woman that had a promiscuous past. He says that he would never judge her from her past but he does just that. He is having second thoughts on getting married and the wedding is called off.

Women are somewhat different when it comes to numbers. Most women assume that their man has been with several partners. Of course, don’t forget the double-standard we all know and love.What is it? A man has sex with an infinite number of women and he is considered a “pimp” by his friends and society. But and this is a huge “But”, when a woman has sex with a large number of people she is then considered a slut, easy or a hootchie mamma. So, really how many people have you slept with? Is this a question that should be asked? Is this a question that should be answered? In my opinion, definitely not. The last relationship I was in the number of people we slept with never came up. Honestly, I did not want to know how many people he had slept with and I think he felt the same. Whether you slept with 3 people or 100, why would anyone want to know this popular number? Someone that I dated before told me how many people he slept with and all I could think about was him on top of someone else. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind.That number was engraved in my brain and questions started to rise to the surface?

Was I good enough as everyone else?
Is he comparing me to everyone else?

Why would you even want to torment yourself like this? Shouldn’t the past remain in the past? Some say that the past is a predictor the the future? So, just because he was a man whore then is he a man whore now? Not necessarily. People change. The longer he goes without being a man whore his past starts to change. Who knows, maybe he was a man whore in his younger years but straightened up as he got older.

The numbers are something you shouldn’t have to think about. Plus, 9 times out of 10, people will lie about it. They lie about it because they don’t want to be judged. They don’t want you to think less of them. No one wants to be thought of as a slut or a man whore. So, you better think long and hard before you ask the number question. Do you think you can handle it? You better think long and hard before you answer that question. Did you think he/ she can handle it?

I once had a friend that was a recovering slut. She had been with a number of people in her wild days but grew up and settled down. She was nervous about this number and cringed every time a man asked the question. Through trial and error, she found that giving up these numbers damaged the relationship and her character to her partner. She finally came up with a good answer. So, how many people have you slept with? “Enough to know what I’m doing”. Great answer. Applause.

If you partner is dead set on knowing the numbers, try to explain to him that they are not important now. Of course, saying this might make him think that you have been with a lot of people? What is a lot of people, though? What might seem like a huge number to you might be nothing to him, or the exact opposite. They always say that when a woman tells how many people she has slept with multiply it by 3. When a guy is hanging out with the guys and they are telling each other how many people they have slept with you should subtract it by 15. This is quite comical to me.You will never know if you are getting an honest answer or not so there’s no real reason to even discuss it. How will this benefit your relationship? It won’t. If anything it will cause conflict.

So, should you ask the loaded question? Should you answer the loaded question? My advice is absolutely not. Telling your numbers is basically like letting someone read your private journal. It’s private, it’s your business and really none of theirs. Instead of focusing on how many people the other has been with, focus on the present. Respect each other’s privacy, please. You are together now and anything before that doesn’t really matter.

The post How Many People Have You Slept With? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634559972) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(60) "4 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning to Propose to Your Partner" ["link"]=> string(99) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/14/4-mistakes-to-avoid-when-planning-to-propose-to-your-partner/" ["comments"]=> string(107) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/14/4-mistakes-to-avoid-when-planning-to-propose-to-your-partner/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 14 Oct 2021 14:41:02 +0000" ["category"]=> string(7) "Wedding" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8234" ["description"]=> string(637) "

With a task as important as proposing to your partner, knowing what not to do is just as helpful as other advice and suggestions. You already know what will make your partner happy, but it’s important to be informed about common proposal faux pas to help you avoid awkward situations and unexpected problems. If you […]

The post 4 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning to Propose to Your Partner appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4478) "

With a task as important as proposing to your partner, knowing what not to do is just as helpful as other advice and suggestions. You already know what will make your partner happy, but it’s important to be informed about common proposal faux pas to help you avoid awkward situations and unexpected problems.

If you need a crash course on common mistakes that people make when they propose to their partners, keep reading.

Proposing on Their Birthday or a Major Holiday

While it may seem like a good idea to propose on your partner’s birthday, their favorite holiday, or at a family celebration, it may not have the effect you are going for. Most people prefer to celebrate holidays separately, including anniversaries. If your special day lands on another major day, you may not get to give the anniversary of your engagement as much time as you and your partner would like.

Further, if there are a lot of family members present, you may face comments and opinions that will make your special moment feel a little less private. Your partner would likely prefer to celebrate their birthday and holidays in turn and announce your engagement to their loved ones in their own time.

Choosing a Busy Location

If you plan to propose at a public location, be mindful of busy times and days. If your partner doesn’t like to be the center of attention, they may be uncomfortable with having a lot of people around during a moment that they feel should be special and private. Popular proposal spots like theme parks and restaurants can have particularly busy days and times, so check ahead for planned events and make appropriate reservations before you settle on a date.

Alternatively, you could choose a more secluded spot to pop the question–like a quiet park or a private room at a popular venue–and ensure that you and your partner get a moment alone to celebrate together.

Losing or Hiding the Ring

If you spent a lot of time and money finding the perfect ring, the last thing you want to do is lose it before the big moment. Make sure to carry it to your location safely and avoid taking it out of its box. It may be more conspicuous to bring a bag with you to conceal the box, but you’re much less likely to lose the whole thing than just the ring itself. You should also avoid giving it to a friend or family member to hold onto just in case it gets misplaced as you all prepare for the event.

Some people even try to hide the ring somewhere at the venue or present the ring in unique ways, like in a champagne glass or inside food items. While it may seem like a fun idea to have your partner find their ring organically rather than present it to them, you run the risk of losing the ring or having your partner swallow it by accident. To avoid losing the ring or taking a trip to the emergency room, think of other more secure ways to reveal the ring to your partner.

Forgetting to Talk to Their Family

Finally, it’s wise to think about your partner’s family and chat with them before you propose. You don’t necessarily have to ask their parents for permission, but some families view this gesture as a way to show your respect for their family and their opinions. If your partner is particularly close with their relatives, it may make them happy to know that they were included in the process.

That said, be careful and make sure to share your plans with friends and relatives who can keep the secret. You don’t want anyone to ruin your partner’s surprise!

While each relationship is different and some couples won’t view these things as problems, it’s smart to be mindful of common proposal mistakes and avoid them when you can. Consider these tips as you plan and your partner will be able to tell how much thought and love went into your proposal!

The post 4 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning to Propose to Your Partner appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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With a task as important as proposing to your partner, knowing what not to do is just as helpful as other advice and suggestions. You already know what will make your partner happy, but it’s important to be informed about common proposal faux pas to help you avoid awkward situations and unexpected problems. If you […]

The post 4 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning to Propose to Your Partner appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4478) "

With a task as important as proposing to your partner, knowing what not to do is just as helpful as other advice and suggestions. You already know what will make your partner happy, but it’s important to be informed about common proposal faux pas to help you avoid awkward situations and unexpected problems.

If you need a crash course on common mistakes that people make when they propose to their partners, keep reading.

Proposing on Their Birthday or a Major Holiday

While it may seem like a good idea to propose on your partner’s birthday, their favorite holiday, or at a family celebration, it may not have the effect you are going for. Most people prefer to celebrate holidays separately, including anniversaries. If your special day lands on another major day, you may not get to give the anniversary of your engagement as much time as you and your partner would like.

Further, if there are a lot of family members present, you may face comments and opinions that will make your special moment feel a little less private. Your partner would likely prefer to celebrate their birthday and holidays in turn and announce your engagement to their loved ones in their own time.

Choosing a Busy Location

If you plan to propose at a public location, be mindful of busy times and days. If your partner doesn’t like to be the center of attention, they may be uncomfortable with having a lot of people around during a moment that they feel should be special and private. Popular proposal spots like theme parks and restaurants can have particularly busy days and times, so check ahead for planned events and make appropriate reservations before you settle on a date.

Alternatively, you could choose a more secluded spot to pop the question–like a quiet park or a private room at a popular venue–and ensure that you and your partner get a moment alone to celebrate together.

Losing or Hiding the Ring

If you spent a lot of time and money finding the perfect ring, the last thing you want to do is lose it before the big moment. Make sure to carry it to your location safely and avoid taking it out of its box. It may be more conspicuous to bring a bag with you to conceal the box, but you’re much less likely to lose the whole thing than just the ring itself. You should also avoid giving it to a friend or family member to hold onto just in case it gets misplaced as you all prepare for the event.

Some people even try to hide the ring somewhere at the venue or present the ring in unique ways, like in a champagne glass or inside food items. While it may seem like a fun idea to have your partner find their ring organically rather than present it to them, you run the risk of losing the ring or having your partner swallow it by accident. To avoid losing the ring or taking a trip to the emergency room, think of other more secure ways to reveal the ring to your partner.

Forgetting to Talk to Their Family

Finally, it’s wise to think about your partner’s family and chat with them before you propose. You don’t necessarily have to ask their parents for permission, but some families view this gesture as a way to show your respect for their family and their opinions. If your partner is particularly close with their relatives, it may make them happy to know that they were included in the process.

That said, be careful and make sure to share your plans with friends and relatives who can keep the secret. You don’t want anyone to ruin your partner’s surprise!

While each relationship is different and some couples won’t view these things as problems, it’s smart to be mindful of common proposal mistakes and avoid them when you can. Consider these tips as you plan and your partner will be able to tell how much thought and love went into your proposal!

The post 4 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning to Propose to Your Partner appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1634222462) } [8]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(69) "My Son Taught Me More About Dating Than Any of My Boyfriends Ever Did" ["link"]=> string(108) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/11/my-son-taught-me-more-about-dating-than-any-of-my-boyfriends-ever-did/" ["comments"]=> string(116) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/11/my-son-taught-me-more-about-dating-than-any-of-my-boyfriends-ever-did/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Sarah Hill" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 11 Oct 2021 15:35:16 +0000" ["category"]=> string(34) "ParentingdatingMOTHERHOODparenting" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8226" ["description"]=> string(682) "

Decades. That’s how long I’ve spent agonizing over boys (and, later, men). Mostly in my high school and college days, that is. When they didn’t call me, call me back, or answer the phone (this was in the pre-texting, pre-email, pre-caller ID era), I took offense and figured I wasn’t good enough. When they acted aloof, […]

The post My Son Taught Me More About Dating Than Any of My Boyfriends Ever Did appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6636) "

Decades. That’s how long I’ve spent agonizing over boys (and, later, men). Mostly in my high school and college days, that is. When they didn’t call me, call me back, or answer the phone (this was in the pre-texting, pre-email, pre-caller ID era), I took offense and figured I wasn’t good enough. When they acted aloof, I thought, “It must be me.” When they didn’t “get” me or my feelings, I assumed it was because I must have done something wrong.

I know I’m not the only one. Sappy-sweet rom-coms, supposed-to-empower-women books, and all of the how-to-be-in-a-better-relationship bullsh*t out there say to me that women learning how to understand what a man is thinking (and using that knowledge to then land and keep him) is big business. I bought it. I bought it all. I even saw a therapist, droning on and on and on about my absentee boyfriend who rarely answered my calls and often came up with excuses when I wanted to see him. My therapist advised me to take control of my own life, stop being so needy, and do things by myself — she even required me to see a movie solo. I did. It did nothing.

I still called the guy every morning, from a pay phone (yes, a pay phone), after my first class of the day in college. Sometimes he answered. Most of the time he didn’t. I was crushed. I’d hold back the tears, hang up the phone, and walk to my next class. In my 18-year-old mind, he was clearly ignoring my call. Why? I didn’t know. But, I suspected it was because he had suddenly decided I wasn’t good enough for him. Um, did I mention that he was 21, lived at home with his mother, had zero ambition to do anything and didn’t have a job, car, or any money of his own? And I still thought I wasn’t good enough for him.

Eventually, I ditched the loser. OK, it was more like he cheated on me and we ended it there.

Fast-forward from my college days to my early 40s. I’ve learned a thing or two — and not from any “relationship expert,” book, blog post, article, or how-to-make-myself-a-better/more-empowered/more-confident-person workshop. I can so clearly see the flaws in my thinking. Now, at 41, I realize that I have lived a lie. I’ve been “relationship-ing” under the pretense that boys or men are entirely intentional in how they act toward women. Yes, some of them are. But, plenty of times they are not.

So, how do I know this? Not from a therapist. Not from a professional in the women vs. men field. I’ve come to learn this lesson from my 14-year-old son. What better way to get a glimpse into the male psyche than from a boy himself? After watching how my son acts toward girls, I’ve completely changed the way I look at relationships.

Here’s a completely common situation: My son is playing Xbox. He’s online with his friends. I can hear them through his headset (yes, they are that loud). His phone is beeping or buzzing or doing whatever it does when he’s getting a text. A few minutes later, it’s making noise again. Then again. And yet again. I’m trying to work and getting frustrated at the constant interruption. I pick up his phone, bring it to him, and say something along the lines of, “Who is texting you every minute?” I kind of already know the answer. It’s a girl.

He looks at the texts, turns all of the sounds off, and tosses his phone onto the couch. He’s about to go back to his game when I ask again, “Who is texting you so much?” he says a girl’s name from his class. I ask, “Well, aren’t you going to text her back?” He shakes his head (which might mean no or yes or that he’s not really listening to me). Doesn’t she want something? Shouldn’t you answer her? That’s my girl voice kicking in. I know what’s happening here, and the teenage girl that still lives somewhere deep down inside of me is trying to help the texter out.

When he finally picks up his phone (after his game is over), it’s exactly what I thought. She texted him something fairly innocent, such as “Hi” and “What r u doing?” He didn’t answer. She texted him again a few minutes later asking if he got her text. He still didn’t answer. She texted again with a kind-of-sad and obviously untrue, “Think my phones not working. Let me know if u get this txt. K?” Again, he didn’t answer. After that she kept going, clearly thinking he was purposefully ignoring her. After all, he has ears. That means he is capable of hearing a text. He has eyes. That means he’s capable of reading a text. But he still wasn’t answering.

When I asked him why he didn’t answer her, what was his response? “It’s not a big deal. I was having fun playing my game. It’s not like she wanted anything important.” Skeptically, I pressed with, “But, do you want to answer her? I mean, do you like her?” He looked confused, “Yeah, Mom. But one thing has nothing to do with the other.”

And, there you have it. To the girl, an unanswered text (which in my day equaled an unanswered pay phone call) was a sure sign of disinterest. To the boy, answering the text had nothing to do with interest at all. Attention and response time weren’t connected — at all.

I thought back to my loser college boyfriend and the every-morning phone calls that I made. Was he not answering my calls because he was doing whatever the early-’90s equivalent of playing Xbox was? In all likelihood, he was.

I’m not saying every guy who doesn’t call, doesn’t text back, or seems like he’s snubbing every Facebook PM is genuinely busy but really, really, really likes you. But now I know it’s entirely possible.

The post My Son Taught Me More About Dating Than Any of My Boyfriends Ever Did appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Decades. That’s how long I’ve spent agonizing over boys (and, later, men). Mostly in my high school and college days, that is. When they didn’t call me, call me back, or answer the phone (this was in the pre-texting, pre-email, pre-caller ID era), I took offense and figured I wasn’t good enough. When they acted aloof, […]

The post My Son Taught Me More About Dating Than Any of My Boyfriends Ever Did appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6636) "

Decades. That’s how long I’ve spent agonizing over boys (and, later, men). Mostly in my high school and college days, that is. When they didn’t call me, call me back, or answer the phone (this was in the pre-texting, pre-email, pre-caller ID era), I took offense and figured I wasn’t good enough. When they acted aloof, I thought, “It must be me.” When they didn’t “get” me or my feelings, I assumed it was because I must have done something wrong.

I know I’m not the only one. Sappy-sweet rom-coms, supposed-to-empower-women books, and all of the how-to-be-in-a-better-relationship bullsh*t out there say to me that women learning how to understand what a man is thinking (and using that knowledge to then land and keep him) is big business. I bought it. I bought it all. I even saw a therapist, droning on and on and on about my absentee boyfriend who rarely answered my calls and often came up with excuses when I wanted to see him. My therapist advised me to take control of my own life, stop being so needy, and do things by myself — she even required me to see a movie solo. I did. It did nothing.

I still called the guy every morning, from a pay phone (yes, a pay phone), after my first class of the day in college. Sometimes he answered. Most of the time he didn’t. I was crushed. I’d hold back the tears, hang up the phone, and walk to my next class. In my 18-year-old mind, he was clearly ignoring my call. Why? I didn’t know. But, I suspected it was because he had suddenly decided I wasn’t good enough for him. Um, did I mention that he was 21, lived at home with his mother, had zero ambition to do anything and didn’t have a job, car, or any money of his own? And I still thought I wasn’t good enough for him.

Eventually, I ditched the loser. OK, it was more like he cheated on me and we ended it there.

Fast-forward from my college days to my early 40s. I’ve learned a thing or two — and not from any “relationship expert,” book, blog post, article, or how-to-make-myself-a-better/more-empowered/more-confident-person workshop. I can so clearly see the flaws in my thinking. Now, at 41, I realize that I have lived a lie. I’ve been “relationship-ing” under the pretense that boys or men are entirely intentional in how they act toward women. Yes, some of them are. But, plenty of times they are not.

So, how do I know this? Not from a therapist. Not from a professional in the women vs. men field. I’ve come to learn this lesson from my 14-year-old son. What better way to get a glimpse into the male psyche than from a boy himself? After watching how my son acts toward girls, I’ve completely changed the way I look at relationships.

Here’s a completely common situation: My son is playing Xbox. He’s online with his friends. I can hear them through his headset (yes, they are that loud). His phone is beeping or buzzing or doing whatever it does when he’s getting a text. A few minutes later, it’s making noise again. Then again. And yet again. I’m trying to work and getting frustrated at the constant interruption. I pick up his phone, bring it to him, and say something along the lines of, “Who is texting you every minute?” I kind of already know the answer. It’s a girl.

He looks at the texts, turns all of the sounds off, and tosses his phone onto the couch. He’s about to go back to his game when I ask again, “Who is texting you so much?” he says a girl’s name from his class. I ask, “Well, aren’t you going to text her back?” He shakes his head (which might mean no or yes or that he’s not really listening to me). Doesn’t she want something? Shouldn’t you answer her? That’s my girl voice kicking in. I know what’s happening here, and the teenage girl that still lives somewhere deep down inside of me is trying to help the texter out.

When he finally picks up his phone (after his game is over), it’s exactly what I thought. She texted him something fairly innocent, such as “Hi” and “What r u doing?” He didn’t answer. She texted him again a few minutes later asking if he got her text. He still didn’t answer. She texted again with a kind-of-sad and obviously untrue, “Think my phones not working. Let me know if u get this txt. K?” Again, he didn’t answer. After that she kept going, clearly thinking he was purposefully ignoring her. After all, he has ears. That means he is capable of hearing a text. He has eyes. That means he’s capable of reading a text. But he still wasn’t answering.

When I asked him why he didn’t answer her, what was his response? “It’s not a big deal. I was having fun playing my game. It’s not like she wanted anything important.” Skeptically, I pressed with, “But, do you want to answer her? I mean, do you like her?” He looked confused, “Yeah, Mom. But one thing has nothing to do with the other.”

And, there you have it. To the girl, an unanswered text (which in my day equaled an unanswered pay phone call) was a sure sign of disinterest. To the boy, answering the text had nothing to do with interest at all. Attention and response time weren’t connected — at all.

I thought back to my loser college boyfriend and the every-morning phone calls that I made. Was he not answering my calls because he was doing whatever the early-’90s equivalent of playing Xbox was? In all likelihood, he was.

I’m not saying every guy who doesn’t call, doesn’t text back, or seems like he’s snubbing every Facebook PM is genuinely busy but really, really, really likes you. But now I know it’s entirely possible.

The post My Son Taught Me More About Dating Than Any of My Boyfriends Ever Did appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1633966516) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(37) "When Should You Call Your Girlfriend?" ["link"]=> string(75) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/11/when-should-you-call-your-girlfriend/" ["comments"]=> string(83) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/11/when-should-you-call-your-girlfriend/#respond" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 11 Oct 2021 13:22:28 +0000" ["category"]=> string(54) "Relationship Advicecalling a girlphone calltexttexting" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=8221" ["description"]=> string(571) "

Firstly lets get this straight. There are no rules to when you should call. Some people call the next day after getting the number and have great success, others leave it 2-3 days and get the same results. It really comes down to personal preference. I just want to share my thoughts on the subject […]

The post When Should You Call Your Girlfriend? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3895) "

Firstly lets get this straight. There are no rules to when you should call. Some people call the next day after getting the number and have great success, others leave it 2-3 days and get the same results.

It really comes down to personal preference. I just want to share my thoughts on the subject and how I have got my best results.

Firstly I like to text a girl first and do it the very next day. Why? Because the interaction is still fresh in her mind and a text is a very easy non threatening form of communication. Girls are more likely to respond to text than answer the phone. Plus if they respond to your text they are much more likely to answer the call later on.

Few things to remember when you text a girl.

* Make it fun – Women love to have fun
* Make statements to show dominant attitude – They like dominant men
* Include something that happened during the night – Brings back the awesome memories of you 2 together.

Here is an example of a text a fiend of mine sent a girl recently with huge success.

So he met this girl in a pub and they seemed to get on really well. He found out that she was currently working in a coffee shop.

Here is the text he sent her the next day (I really did like this one):

‘Hey there Queen Of The Bean. I seen two tramps fighting over a Starbucks double decaf and thought of you. Hope you had a good evening last night’

This text covers all 3 of the points made above. Trust me she will never have had anyone send such a cool text before. Even if she has it would not matter, she would still enjoy it big time.

If she replies then great. Just carry on and have a ‘normal’ text conversation. Does not have to be fancy. Maybe mention that you should meet up sometime soon. This puts the thought of you and her meeting up without actually organising anything. Remember you are trying to make her feel comfortable. Organising the date is for the phone call itself.

If she does not reply then the next day just go for it and ring her. You have nothing to lose.

The phone call itself. Normally the day after the text. When you ring the girl, if she answers then great. Just follow the same principles as the text. Remember you are this cool guy. Let her see this. Within this call you should organise a time for when you should meet up.

If she does not answer let the phone ring until it goes onto answer machine. This shows you are not afraid that she will answer. Then ring again straight away. Maybe she was trying to answer but was not quick enough. Trust me if she just missed the call, she is very unlikely to call you back. So again wait for it to hit the answer phone (unless of course she answers) but do not leave any voice messages. They are not required. She knows its you so why bother.

Now wait to see if she gets in contact. She will probably send a text to explain why she could not answer, if she is interested. If not you could try to ring the next day but I generally just leave it alone. Remember there is a whole world of hot women out there. Abundance is the key.

Next time you may just need to spend more time with the girl when you meet. Chat for longer. Then she is more likely to want to speak again in the future.

The post When Should You Call Your Girlfriend? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Firstly lets get this straight. There are no rules to when you should call. Some people call the next day after getting the number and have great success, others leave it 2-3 days and get the same results. It really comes down to personal preference. I just want to share my thoughts on the subject […]

The post When Should You Call Your Girlfriend? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3895) "

Firstly lets get this straight. There are no rules to when you should call. Some people call the next day after getting the number and have great success, others leave it 2-3 days and get the same results.

It really comes down to personal preference. I just want to share my thoughts on the subject and how I have got my best results.

Firstly I like to text a girl first and do it the very next day. Why? Because the interaction is still fresh in her mind and a text is a very easy non threatening form of communication. Girls are more likely to respond to text than answer the phone. Plus if they respond to your text they are much more likely to answer the call later on.

Few things to remember when you text a girl.

* Make it fun – Women love to have fun
* Make statements to show dominant attitude – They like dominant men
* Include something that happened during the night – Brings back the awesome memories of you 2 together.

Here is an example of a text a fiend of mine sent a girl recently with huge success.

So he met this girl in a pub and they seemed to get on really well. He found out that she was currently working in a coffee shop.

Here is the text he sent her the next day (I really did like this one):

‘Hey there Queen Of The Bean. I seen two tramps fighting over a Starbucks double decaf and thought of you. Hope you had a good evening last night’

This text covers all 3 of the points made above. Trust me she will never have had anyone send such a cool text before. Even if she has it would not matter, she would still enjoy it big time.

If she replies then great. Just carry on and have a ‘normal’ text conversation. Does not have to be fancy. Maybe mention that you should meet up sometime soon. This puts the thought of you and her meeting up without actually organising anything. Remember you are trying to make her feel comfortable. Organising the date is for the phone call itself.

If she does not reply then the next day just go for it and ring her. You have nothing to lose.

The phone call itself. Normally the day after the text. When you ring the girl, if she answers then great. Just follow the same principles as the text. Remember you are this cool guy. Let her see this. Within this call you should organise a time for when you should meet up.

If she does not answer let the phone ring until it goes onto answer machine. This shows you are not afraid that she will answer. Then ring again straight away. Maybe she was trying to answer but was not quick enough. Trust me if she just missed the call, she is very unlikely to call you back. So again wait for it to hit the answer phone (unless of course she answers) but do not leave any voice messages. They are not required. She knows its you so why bother.

Now wait to see if she gets in contact. She will probably send a text to explain why she could not answer, if she is interested. If not you could try to ring the next day but I generally just leave it alone. Remember there is a whole world of hot women out there. Abundance is the key.

Next time you may just need to spend more time with the girl when you meet. Chat for longer. Then she is more likely to want to speak again in the future.

The post When Should You Call Your Girlfriend? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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